help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
