oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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