god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
