Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
