I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
