she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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