I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
