Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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