My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
