Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
