Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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