i don't like sucking hair
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
that may or may not have been my penis.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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