Umm I'm too high to move.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
