he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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