He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
