He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize