States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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