I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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