There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
