What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
How's work?
Spinning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
