Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
