If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
