as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
