Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
