i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
