Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
