so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
