week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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