Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
