this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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