oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
