I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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