One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
