SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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