Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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