The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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