I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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