Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
