Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
