I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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