This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
