I want to stick my p in your. b.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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