he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
