i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
