I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
