farters have to be the big spoon...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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