the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
