Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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