i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
