after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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