BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
that is very illegal...i love you.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
