Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
wow bdsm is so cute
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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